It Takes Two (Minutes)…
Interviewer: Good morning, Tan and Fred. How are you today?
Tan: Oh hey, hi, you look great today. Wow, actually you look really great. Can I kiss you?
Interviewer: Oo, no, if that’s okay. I just saw you eat poo.
Tan (smiling coyly): Oops, rumbled.
Fred: Er, hello, I am here. Attention please. I’d like a hearty stroke down my back and a bit of sausage please.
Interviewer: Sorry, Fred. How are you?
Fred: Well, humph, the day started well. I was feeling fairly chipper. Sadly, I got a bit carried away barking at the goats and Laura told me off. Quite frankly, I plunged into a black fug of emotion and found myself sitting on a damp patch of grass, staring at a chewed tennis ball, wondering about the meaning of it all.
Interviewer: I’m sorry to hear that, Fred. Tan, I can see you creeping closer and you’ve got that look in your eye. No kisses please.
Tan: You know, love solves all problems.
Fred: In fact, it was a big kiss from Tan that made me feel better this morning. I’d highly recommend it.
Interviewer: I often see you and Tan licking each other’s mouths, Fred. What’s that all about?
Fred: I see Tan as a bit of a mother figure. We’re both sanctuary dogs. She’s been here a long time; I’ve been here a long time. We’re family.
Interviewer: Tan, seriously, do not bring that tongue any closer! Why are you in sanctuary, Fred?
Fred: I’ve been told I’m a good boy but a bit over-loyal. I loved my family so much I wouldn’t let anyone near them which, looking back, did cause a few, minor issues within the home.